The Desk Potato's Food Guide

As a Desk Potato, you have specialized nutritional requirements. Although modern wisdom is that variety is the key to good nutrition, the Desk Potato prefers the traditional method of categorizing foods into Food Groups, and recommending that you maintain a pseudo-random distribution of samples from each of the major groups.

Essential fluids

C8 H10 N4 O2

Caffeine Molecule (1,3,7-trimethylxanthine)

This essential Desk Potato nutrient can be found in a variety of foods and beverages. The Desk Potato Recommended Daily Allowance (RDA) of caffeine is 2400 mg., which is approximately equivalent to two (12 cup) pots of coffee. Chocolate, the perfect food source in this group, contains both caffeine and it's sister molecule theobromine to reduce stress and prolong the effect (of course there's the double-cap. mocha latte... the penultimate bed-time snack!). For more information on caffeine, see the caffeine FAQ or A Virtual Health Store: What you should know about caffeine.

Recently there has been talk of requiring a label on food products containing caffeine: "WARNING: Danger to health increases with amount drunk. -- Avoid swallowing.". This is primarily due to concerns over the health risks associated with second-hand coffee.

While caffeine can be toxic in large doses, it is eliminated from the body quite rapidly. The lowest known fatal dose of caffeine was reported to be 3200 mg., which would be equivalent to drinking 3 (12 cup) pots of coffee in one sitting, however the 18th century philosopher Voltaire was reported to drink fifty to seventy cups per day.

These must be soya fries... Yeah! That's it!

The take-out food group provides the desk potato with the important emulsifying agents to carry fat-soluble vitamins and nutrients throughout the body. Essential oils found in many of these foods help keep the Desk Potato's hair and skin healthy and shining.

Aside from the meat-and-potatoes basics of the burger and fries symbiosis, the ever popular pizza is such an important part of the Desk Potato's diet that it almost deserves a group of it's own. Desk Potato trainees can practice ordering pizza by creating virtual pizzas with The Internet Pizza Server.

CORN chips, Cheezy Puffs, and Chocolate Cookies!

Empty Calories
Providing momentary boosts of neural energy needed to work around the most pesky of broken link, the main purpose of this group is to keep the left brain distracted while the right brain aspires to more lofty pursuits.

The most empty of the empty calorie foods is  the generic cheesy-puff. This amazing product of modern technology is essentially cheese flavored air. A giant bowl of these cheese-flavored dust bunnies has virtually no mass. The perfect Desk Potato snack -- virtual food! (Note: These are not to be confused with Hawkin's Cheezies®, which have both mass and density).
A pile of yummy gummys. The gummy is a pure energy in an easy-to-transport solid gel. The purpose of the gummy is infuse the Desk Potato with that extra kick to get past the 4am blues. gummy technology is a highly evolved food form, replacing the older, "sugar" group. In a pinch, lesser sugar forms (chocolate is not a lesser sugar) can be substituted. The gummy group includes not just Gummy Bears, but also such varieties as gummy colas, sour keys, sour peaches, floral gums, wine gums, and so much more.

Chocolate bars

Chocolate is a cross-over food between the sugars and the caffeines, yet soooo much more! Chocolate is... well... CHOCOLATE! This indispensable nutriment contains about 1,200 chemical compounds. It is a complete food in that it covers all of the above food groups.

Chocolate contains two (or more in some cases) variations of caffeine, both a stimulant and a smooth-muscle relaxant. It contains fat (take-out group) and a variety of sugars (gummy group).  A single chocolate bar can contain all of your important "ose"s (dextrose, fructose, sucrose, lactose) and "ene"s (caffeine, theophylline, theobromine, guaranine) in one single source. Don't stay home without it!

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